I lost my god damn mind
I get burned every year. Every year i think, you know what? it's just another day and that's it. If I kept it at that i'd be ok. But every year people around me like to get me all worked up. "Come on! It's your birthday!! You only get one a year! We have to celebrate!!" So I start to get all excited and work up my expectations for that one day, and it never fails, i get burned...or rather i burn myself because i have no one to blame but me. This year was no exception. Don't get me wrong, i totally appreciate the time, for the people who did show up,that they took to spend with me, and it wasn't all bad, just mostly terrible.
First off, my own father didn't even call to wish me a happy birthday. So things started out pretty shitty.
The evening started out rather well. Dave and his friends came over and we chilled for a few hours, waiting for Gen to get home from class. We went over to her place chilled for a bit and, yes, I took some mush again. After a bit, just as the trip was starting, someone suggested we take a walk and go to the park. We get to the park and then the desicion was made to climb the "garbage hill", the one they use as a sledding hill in the winter, right behind Loblaws. Well, Annie did not enjoy this at all. All i kept saying was "ok, we gotta go, i don't like this at all". Meanwhile, as i'm starting to freak out a bit, i get a call from Many, telling me he won't show up...or i called him i'm not to sure. Again, Annie fucked up, on a hill of garbage and now not happy at all. It's around that time that the Chocolat Wonder text messaged me. Being pretty messed up and not being able to concentrate on anything for any period of time really, i didn't read the entire thing only the first two lines "change of plans, my bestfriend's brother..." So by now i'm pretty pissed and messed up so i text back something like "you punk ass bitch! it's my birthday i'm on mush and you can't be bothered to come see me?! FUCK!" To which i did not get a response, but really i don't think i was waiting for one.
We watched this dude skate around the park, Dave's friends played cards, and by midnight the party was officially over. I mean really over. I mean Gen and I were sitting on her porch, all messed up, and saying to ourselves "what the hell just happened? how is it that we're here alone and the party is over??" I was pretty bummed out at this point, but i didn't become clinicaly depressed until i checked my cell for any new messages and finally took the time to read the Chocolate Wonder's full message, which went something like this "change of plans, my bestfriend's brother GOT SHOT and we're going to his mom's place" And so at this point i realized that i'd called my bestfriend a punk ass bitch for not coming to my stupid party. And it's at this point that i started to cry uncontrolably. I knew he'd forgive me and that of course he'd know i was fucked up and didn't mean anything by it, but man the mush was tripping right the fuck out. I was sitting there saying to myself, out loud mind you, "it's ok, it's ok calm dowm" as i'm crying. So Gen's sitting accross from me laughing her ass off... and who could blame her?! i mean jesus!
So that was my 27th birthday. 364 days is not far enough away for the 28th.
First off, my own father didn't even call to wish me a happy birthday. So things started out pretty shitty.
The evening started out rather well. Dave and his friends came over and we chilled for a few hours, waiting for Gen to get home from class. We went over to her place chilled for a bit and, yes, I took some mush again. After a bit, just as the trip was starting, someone suggested we take a walk and go to the park. We get to the park and then the desicion was made to climb the "garbage hill", the one they use as a sledding hill in the winter, right behind Loblaws. Well, Annie did not enjoy this at all. All i kept saying was "ok, we gotta go, i don't like this at all". Meanwhile, as i'm starting to freak out a bit, i get a call from Many, telling me he won't show up...or i called him i'm not to sure. Again, Annie fucked up, on a hill of garbage and now not happy at all. It's around that time that the Chocolat Wonder text messaged me. Being pretty messed up and not being able to concentrate on anything for any period of time really, i didn't read the entire thing only the first two lines "change of plans, my bestfriend's brother..." So by now i'm pretty pissed and messed up so i text back something like "you punk ass bitch! it's my birthday i'm on mush and you can't be bothered to come see me?! FUCK!" To which i did not get a response, but really i don't think i was waiting for one.
We watched this dude skate around the park, Dave's friends played cards, and by midnight the party was officially over. I mean really over. I mean Gen and I were sitting on her porch, all messed up, and saying to ourselves "what the hell just happened? how is it that we're here alone and the party is over??" I was pretty bummed out at this point, but i didn't become clinicaly depressed until i checked my cell for any new messages and finally took the time to read the Chocolate Wonder's full message, which went something like this "change of plans, my bestfriend's brother GOT SHOT and we're going to his mom's place" And so at this point i realized that i'd called my bestfriend a punk ass bitch for not coming to my stupid party. And it's at this point that i started to cry uncontrolably. I knew he'd forgive me and that of course he'd know i was fucked up and didn't mean anything by it, but man the mush was tripping right the fuck out. I was sitting there saying to myself, out loud mind you, "it's ok, it's ok calm dowm" as i'm crying. So Gen's sitting accross from me laughing her ass off... and who could blame her?! i mean jesus!
So that was my 27th birthday. 364 days is not far enough away for the 28th.
posted by Annie | 9:39 AM
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