I'm moving, so of course it's fucking raining.

So last night Zeus opened up the heavens and unleashed upon us torrential rains, thunder, lightning, the whole nine yards. It really was impressive. I don't remember the last time i'd seen rain like that... no... hold that thought, last Saturday, big rain day also. Actually come to think about it last Saturday was pretty bad, specialy since i crossed the Mercier during all that shit... and answer me this : if a bridge is kinda pointy in the middle, that pretty much means that it's a giant inverted V...so isn't it logical to assume that when rain is falling by the gallons onto this giant inverted V that it should slide down to either side of said inverted V and accumulate there. But oh no. Apparently water accumulation happens on every inch of the mercier bridge and my car had become one of those hydroplaning things that people use in the bayou. It was scary.

So anyway, i wasn't surprised to wake up to the sky falling last night, i mean, it's typical, all my shit is moving today so OF COURSE it's gonna rain and rain and rain. At least i'm not the one who has to move everything in the rain. If i were, i'd be crying right now.

All this change really is messing with me though. It's good, i mean i know all this is the very best thing for me, but i've been having panick attacks the last few nights. Sometimes i think it's just because i've got nothing in the appartment and that's what's freaking me out. But you know what ? I think it's the opposite... something tells me that somewhere inside me i sort of wish i could start at zero... of course then the brain kicks in and says "are you fucking stupid, you need somewhere to parc your ass." And of course i want my bed, but still... I'm a creature of habit and i've already gotten used to living out of my bedroom. The kitchen and living room are like foreign countries to me right now. There's a fucking echo it's so empty. But on the plus side the cat can't hide from me anywhere. And i've gotten used to this. Perhaps i'm freaked out because half the stuff that's arriving today is coming from my mom and i don't really have a solid idea in my head of how things are going to look, it's furniture Russian roulette.