tobasco sauce : the white man's weapon of choice.
Dave Chappelle was right. You do not want to fall asleep around white people. Specialy if you're relatively new to the group of white people. You fall asleep first, prepare to be fucked with, that's a given.
First let me say this, Marc is a good guy, but he's 22. Now "so what, he's 22?" at least he's not 19 right? When Gen first met him she started calling him "the kid", and now i'm doing it to. At first i didn't really notice the age thing... but hanging out this weekend, well it showed. He came over to my place friday night, hung out and since he lives literaly 3 streets away i told him "i'm going to bed, if you leave lock the door, if not i'll see ya tomorrow morning." And so the next day i woke up to find Marc on my sofa, in his underwear. There's only 2 places i've ever taken off my pants and that's at Chubby Chaser's place and Mase's place, and i've known these people for like 10 years! But this guy was in his tidy-whitey's on my sofa. So i grabbed a comic and went back to bed. About 15 minutes later he walks into my bedroom wrapped in a blanket, apparently still not wearing pants. Now... if this had been a guy i was interrested in i would have been all over this, but shit no. This just really made me feel old. It was like "come over here honey while aunty Annie reads you a story", pretty creepy.
After a few saturday morning cartoons, CC and Trevor came upstairs and we all had breakfast. A little later on Mase came over too. And so, the first ever session or cards-o-rama was held in my brand new appartment. Beer was spilled, Mase threw up and went to the bathroom with the door open, so now it feels like home.
Around 8pm, Marc passed out. Passed out cold. I've never seen anyone sleep hard like this. At this point it was just Mase and I playing crib... and i must say this, when Mase and I get together... i don't know if we bring out the worst in each other, or perhaps just the 5 year old in each other, because at this point i turned to him "ok, well now we have to fuck with him, we don't have a choice" So Mase ran downstairs to get the tobasco sauce.
First i dabbed a little on his lips. Mase was not satisfied since Marc did not wake up. So, obvioulsy he went back in and put more on. The thing is, when we did this to Chubby Chaser he woke almost instintaneously. Marc = nothing. So about 5 minutes later, we were starting to get impatient, and Marc turned his head in his sleep so that his mouth was open and tilted upwards. Well... that was too good to be true. And so, Mase didn't dab the tobasco, but poured it in. And can you believe that he still wasn't waking up!?! Fed up with waiting, Mase smacked him on the leg and that did the trick.
For the next 20 minutes or so, Mase and I watched as Marc paced from kitchen to bathroom, wiping his watering eyes with his t-shirt and sticking his head under the tap. It was only after doing this for 20 minutes and not being able to smoke the joint I offered, that he finally turned to us and said "ok. What did you guys do? MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE!!!" Took him 20 minutes to ask. 20.
I don't see Mase much anymore, but goddamn it do i have stupid 5 year old fun when i do... thank god i'm not a grown up yet.
First let me say this, Marc is a good guy, but he's 22. Now "so what, he's 22?" at least he's not 19 right? When Gen first met him she started calling him "the kid", and now i'm doing it to. At first i didn't really notice the age thing... but hanging out this weekend, well it showed. He came over to my place friday night, hung out and since he lives literaly 3 streets away i told him "i'm going to bed, if you leave lock the door, if not i'll see ya tomorrow morning." And so the next day i woke up to find Marc on my sofa, in his underwear. There's only 2 places i've ever taken off my pants and that's at Chubby Chaser's place and Mase's place, and i've known these people for like 10 years! But this guy was in his tidy-whitey's on my sofa. So i grabbed a comic and went back to bed. About 15 minutes later he walks into my bedroom wrapped in a blanket, apparently still not wearing pants. Now... if this had been a guy i was interrested in i would have been all over this, but shit no. This just really made me feel old. It was like "come over here honey while aunty Annie reads you a story", pretty creepy.
After a few saturday morning cartoons, CC and Trevor came upstairs and we all had breakfast. A little later on Mase came over too. And so, the first ever session or cards-o-rama was held in my brand new appartment. Beer was spilled, Mase threw up and went to the bathroom with the door open, so now it feels like home.
Around 8pm, Marc passed out. Passed out cold. I've never seen anyone sleep hard like this. At this point it was just Mase and I playing crib... and i must say this, when Mase and I get together... i don't know if we bring out the worst in each other, or perhaps just the 5 year old in each other, because at this point i turned to him "ok, well now we have to fuck with him, we don't have a choice" So Mase ran downstairs to get the tobasco sauce.
First i dabbed a little on his lips. Mase was not satisfied since Marc did not wake up. So, obvioulsy he went back in and put more on. The thing is, when we did this to Chubby Chaser he woke almost instintaneously. Marc = nothing. So about 5 minutes later, we were starting to get impatient, and Marc turned his head in his sleep so that his mouth was open and tilted upwards. Well... that was too good to be true. And so, Mase didn't dab the tobasco, but poured it in. And can you believe that he still wasn't waking up!?! Fed up with waiting, Mase smacked him on the leg and that did the trick.
For the next 20 minutes or so, Mase and I watched as Marc paced from kitchen to bathroom, wiping his watering eyes with his t-shirt and sticking his head under the tap. It was only after doing this for 20 minutes and not being able to smoke the joint I offered, that he finally turned to us and said "ok. What did you guys do? MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE!!!" Took him 20 minutes to ask. 20.
I don't see Mase much anymore, but goddamn it do i have stupid 5 year old fun when i do... thank god i'm not a grown up yet.
posted by Annie | 8:35 AM
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