Back story

I have an uncle, we'll call him Jacob, who's 50+ years old and still lives with my grand-mother. No, scratch that, he's always lived with my grand-mother, always. Never moved out, never had a job, never any girlfriends, no nothing. He was on welfare his entire life up until the day came where he'd finally done too much coke and the doctor's gave him a pacemaker. Now it's not called welfare, it's called disability.


Last night
I was looking for cookies when i overheard my father talking about someone bleeding.

Me: So who's bleeding?

Dad: Jacob.

Me: Where's he bleeding from?

Dad: Where do you think?

Me: ...his penis?

Now here's another incident where the fact that i'm psychic has popped up because at no time in my entire life has anything ever pointed to his dick getting used at all, except maybe giving himself the occasional stranger.

Dad: Yeah, and i don't see why i have to drag my ass all over the place because of his ... problem.

Me: You were totally gonna say Dick! heh heh. So what he's bleeding, he's probably passing a stone or something, tell him to take it like a man for christ sake. Or maybe he's got an STD, and in that case i hope he was thankful for the sex.

Now, it's after this next statement that i kinda felt bad for saying what i said above, not for my uncle, cuz fuck him he gets what he deserves, but for my grand-mother who actually had to witness the following events.

Dad: Yeah, well, she (my grandmother) called me before all scared and freaked out because apparently he's now bleeding all over the place from his penis and she doesn't know what to do. The paramedics just went to pick him up.

Poor gran, i wouldn't know what to do with a bleeding penis either.