Where to begin....I guess "the hash was good" is as good a place as any.

About 5 years ago i got a job in a small chemical company as the administrative assistant to the big boss. It was an ok job, you know not bad or good really, just a pay cheque. Chubby Chaser later went on to work in the plant of said company. This, ladies and gentlemen, brings me to Dave. Dave is plant manager, he's 38, he's got 2 teenage girls and a wife. And he's got great hash.

This is the kind of boss who'll understand that you can't come in cuz you're hung over, because he was at the bar with you getting hammered. The kind of boss that will send you home if you come in smelling like the whiskey trench. The kind of boss that will stretch out lunch break to 1h45 because goddamn it we've got a game of cards to play. Also the kind of boss who'll hand over all the drink coupons i can carry at each christmas office party. Those are the reasons i like Dave. Unfortunately there are reasons why i don't. And i'm not talking about the time his wife sent his mother to pick him up stinking drunk in our kitchen.

Friday night CC invited me over to watch Smallville, he mentioned that the guys from work would be there for a bit, but that's cool i figured we'd play cards. I get over there around 10ish and they were all pissed except for CC, who was tipsy but not wrecked.

I swear to god you've never seen two drunks like this before. Just spewing complete nonsense, drooling and god knows what was on CC bathroom floor the next morning. It's just insane to me. I mean generally it's good fun. Play some pool, play some cards, go home before anybody shits themselves. We've even gone on labor day weekend benders together where we didn't go home before someone shat themselves, but that story is for another day. But this weekend, not cool.

Around midnight, Dave starts to get that glazed over look in his eye, you know the one that says "i'm either gonna hug you or knock you're fucking teeth in". I must remind him of his wife cuz it's around that time that he looks at me and mumbles something to the effect that he should call his wife to let her know where he is. To which i reply "she doesn't know where you are?" "no" "doesn't she pick your ass up after work?" "i sent her away" "And you didn't let her know where you were going?" " i...i... umm.... crap.... i better call her" So he gives her a call, at midnight. Needless to say he was not warmly received over the telephone.

As a side story, i'd like to let you all into one of my personal little quirks. When Annie gets nervous or when she's in a public place, or when there are too many people around, my hands itch. I know, it sounds retarded, but it's true. If i don't get the fuck out of wherever the stress is coming from, after the itchy hands
comes the swollen hands, and that's just no fun.

So after Dave's wife hung up on him, he looks at CC, his employee, and says "dude, is it ok if i crash here?" And CC reluctantly says yes. My hands start to itch. Mickey, the one prone to shitting himself, then looks at me, well tries to look at me anyway, and asks for a lift home. But not before calling Norm. Norm is Mickey's canal friend. They chill together at the Lachine canal and drink together there. So Mickey calls up Norm and says "can i freak you out right now?" (it's 12h30) "i'm over at CC's place, i'm drunk, i'm broke, i need a lift and 40$" .... and then apparently Norm hung up on him.

So i ended up having to drive their asses home.

At least i kept most of Dave's hash.