Sin City is a masterpiece. It's the first time that i've watched a movie and genuinely wanted to read the comic afterwards. That's never happened before. I didn't watch Hulk and think "holy Jesus i've gotta read some of that", neither did Daredevil or Spiderman quite honestly. Ok ok i'm not putting Spiderman in the same category as Daredevil or Hulk, but my point is that I was uninspired to pick up those comics. For some reason, the only thing i can sort of compare it too... and i'm talking over-all "comic feel" to the movie, would be Dick Tracy. Lot's of people will now say "what the hell are you talking about Annie, took some crazy pills today?" Crazy as a loon i say!! But seriously, Dick Tracy wasn't a bad movie for it's time, even compared to today's "if it ain't CGI it ain't nothing" attitude. It truly is unlike anything i've ever seen. I don't like Bruce Willis, but he was awesome in this, same goes for Elijah Woods and that Gilmore Girl chick (chocolate Wonder is a big fan of the girls and will probably have a comment or two for me, and to him i say : "shut up Gilmore Girl lover") But mad props (god i'm so white) goes to Clive Owen, awesome does not cover it. Even Brittany Murphy was good for once in her life. I'm so impressed with this movie it has earned itself a spot on the top 5 comic book movie list :

1 . Superman: the movie / Superman II
You cannot fuck with Zod, and also Brando, enough said

2. Batman Begins
Origin story that was good enough to give me amnesia to forget the other 4 craptacular movies, everything is forgotten, even
the batnipples...fuck i guess that one stayed with me.

3. SIN CITY

4. Spiderman 1 & 2
Bruce Campbell cameos.

5. DareDevil Director's cut
At first i'd put FF, but then i figured, yeah the director's cut is worthy of the list, not the theatrical version, but the director's cut, yeah.

Hurricanes are fun. It's the only time you'll hear a 70 year old man on the news say "that Dyke won't hold up".

Last night i walked in to my place and the urge to pee was so powerful i almost didn't make it. Once i was done i realized i had to take a shit also, but the TP situation wasn't good, so i had to go upstairs to retrieve some. Recently i've been having toilet trouble, ei: the flusher thingy broke so i flush manualy ei: sticking my hand in the toilet tank. So i've become accustom to making sure things flush smoothly, i didn't this time. I went upstairs and was surprised to see my dad was still up at 1am, and wanted to show me the knives he'd bought today. One Big ass Bowie knife and one big ass texan hunting knife to go with all the other knives and swords around here. And he talked for a good 15 minutes. When i got back downstairs, there was a flood. Fuck me this fucking week just keeps getting better doesn't it.

Androgeny, nature's rubix cube

Androgeny is so fucked up. I know i'm not the girliest girl out there, but i like to think people know what sexe i am just bu looking at me. I've never caught anyone looking at me and then thought to myself "that person has no idea what i am, i must be having a "Pat" moment" I mean that look must be recognizable and i've personally never caught anyone looking at me like that.

This week i'm doing a special project away from my regular office. They've turned me into a corporate spy and they've sent me into the abyss! It's fuckng crazy here, but that's beside the point.

So i'm in the new call center, that's within another company's call center, they're like our subcontractor or something to that effect. So people who work in that other call center are walking around us all day. There's this one person, i swear to god, even a psychic couldn't figure this one out. We're talking bermuda shorts/Hawaiiïn shirt/pink mohawk/shaved legs/what appears to be very long but not fullydevelopedd moustache-pinch/no boobs. I have no idea what i'm looking at here, no fucking clue. But it's like a car crash, you can't help but stare whenever he/she/it walks by.

Am I gonna have to start locking my door?

I'm sitting in my living room last night, in my underwear, watching TV, and there's a knock on my door. I wasn't expecting anyone, so i figured i'd just sit there and they'd go away. Another knock. At that point i remembered i'd lent "Family Guy" season 3 to the guy next door, and since I live so freaking far from town, no one else I know would be coming to see me at this time of night. So i yell "Just a minute!" and I get up to go put some pants on. Just as i'm doing this, the door swings open and there's my neighbor, who's name i don't even know, standing there with my dvd. Now in a porn this is where the 70's music would start...***dream sequence*** Ban chi cha wan wan, ban chi cha wan waan "hi" " hi there" "you live here huh" "yeah" "wanna fuck?" But no, i'm in my underwear and it's totally embarrassing, not sexy. But seriously. WHAT THE FUCK? I DONT KNOW YOU BUDDY!! IT IS NOT OK TO WALK INTO OTHER PEOPLES HOME UNANNOUNCED! Our parents know each other but that DOES NOT make us friends, even if i did lend you a dvd. I still don't know you're name for crying out loud! Now i'm gonna have to start locking my door when i'm home... or start wearing pants.

Cat burglary 101

Being fat and stealthy must run in my family. I just had to break into my apartment for the 5th time. And that's in this apartment only. I only had to break in twice in the one before. And that's not including the many many bathroom door locks i've picked in my day.

I got lucky this time, i admit it. It had the potential of really getting ugly. I live in a bachelor. The bachelor in my father's house to be more precise. Now to keep the parental units the hell out of my place (to many times i'd come home to a spotless apartment and things not in their rightful place) I've had to get creative on their ass. So i broke the lock on the door that connects my apartment to their laundry room. Access denied. I've also got two locks on my main door (the one on the side of the house) but no key to go with them. So at this point i've got two options, front door or leave the window to the side door slightly open to be able to unlock it. I always take option B as to not have to meet my step mom's mother on her umptenth trip to the can in the middle of the night.

However, last night i heard a rustling in my garbage. At first i thought it would be the cat that often visits me, but no, it was a skunk. So i closed all the windows, just in case.

Watched some porn, went to bed. Had a really explicit lesbian dream which seemed really real because when i woke up the next day... well afternoon, i was all disoriented, sweaty and horny. So when i took off about an hour later to go to chubby chaser's place, i forgot to crack the window.

I realized this halfway threw watching Daredevil, right about where Olympic Sleeper asked :

OS: So Elektra dies now?

Me: nope, she's sorta immortal or something.

OS: So how does she come back?

Me: i don't know.... ninja spirits or something.

OS: ...

OS: Did you just say ninja spirits?

Me: yes, yes i did.


So anyway, i get home and sure enough, window's closed, door's locked. Twice i've broken in threw the kitchen window, which is level with the ground in the backyard, but that window was also closed, as was the side window so that wasn't an option either. I had left my bedroom windows open and seriously considered it, even got in there in the bushes and spiders to check it out, but a contortionist i am not.

As i stood there at my door trying to think of what to do, because going in threw the front door and having to explain all this to my dad was certainly not an option, the next door neighbor and his drunk friends stepped out onto their patio where i could hear them but not see them. This was it, now or never, i gotta get in there. As i've mentioned earlier, there was a hole that i'd previously cut into the screen in the window as to be able to stick my hand in there, well i ripped the shit outta that thing tonight. I stuck my key in the crack of the window and yanked as hard as i could, and voila, i am a fucking genius cat burglar.

I'm usually not to promote my place of employment. Certainly not while on "me" time, i mean fuck that right? But today i have to say that I'm pleasantly surprised by Bell mobility. Caller Ring Tunes is something i'll promote. These things are the shit. They've got a shit load of music and celebrity rings, i'm gonna have lot's of fun with this. I put a "peter laughing" (family guy) ring on and my mom didn't know what the hell was going on when she called earlier. Too good, too good.

Crackheads are people too

You know how I know winter is coming? The crackheads that live next door to Chubby Chaser's place aren't chillin' out outside anymore. During the summer they'd be on the stoop all the time. Leaving his place at 9am sunday morning? They're there drinkin' beer out of the brown paper bag. 3 o'clock in the afternoon? They're there bumming smokes from you as you walk by. 3am and going home? Still outside strung up on crack. I guess maybe crackheads are more sensitive to the cold then normal people.

Last night, around 10ish, i went to the municipal court to drop off a payment for a ticket i got. Since it was after hours, the parking lot was empty and i felt it was necessary to park in the Maire's parking spot. I have to admit that for the two minutes i parked there, i felt kinda regal. It was nice, i think i'll start driving around late at night to park in important peoples parking spots, you know maybe at the police station, the ambulance only spots at the hospital, those spots out in front of my work reserved for company cars, shit like that.

i need to quit smoking weed. the dealer that came to my door yesterday was, i swear to god, maybe 14 years old...couldn't have been more then 16 that's for sure. "HEY BABY! why're out on a corner selling weed?" "Bitch i've got kids to feed!" "I'll take two dime bags"

I read J Gallagher's blog everyday. That guy is the shit. He's the funniest thing out there right now i'm sure of it. I've been told that he's really popular in Montreal and that the Mirror named his blog, Why was Daddy kissing that man in the park? , the best blog from Montreal last year, or something like that. Usually there are no comments on his blog because, it's giving a comment to someone who gets hundreds of readers, and people are gonna be checking to see what you thought was witty enough or funny enough to put on this guy's blog. So as i said usually no comments. But this morning i noticed that there were quite a few on different posts, so, naturally, i checked it out. Who the hell puts an add for their crappy "make a quick buck" or "how to get a loan blog" in someone else's blog. Hey asshole! nobody gives a shit, so instead of ripping you a new one on J's blog, i'll have some respect and do it on mine. Fucking jerk.

10h23 and still feeling shitty.

However, The earthquake sent me some pics and they did cheer me up, i thought i'd share them with the world. This is The G., Genny B., Myself and the earthquake.

When i woke up feeling like shit this morning i thought "i didn't eat and onions, no ice cream, nothing that should make me feel this way" But holy crap i feel like poo. I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm hot, I'm cold. I threw up this morning, not in my sink... i made it to the bathrooms at work. I hate getting sick at work, it's the worst. Once, about 2 years ago, i had the stomach flu real bad and threw up right in front of the elevators here at work. That was worst than this morning i must admit.

Wanna watch a gay movie?

My dad said this to me yesterday to which i replied "sure". He then handed Alexander to me. Holy crap this was bad. I have nothing against gay people at all and i'm fine with the fact that Alexander the Great was in fact probably Bi or gay or whatever. What does bother me is having wasted 2h30 hours of my life watching Collin Ferrel and Jared Leto being gay. Dammit who needs to see that? Really? Oliver Stone how could you?


I went to my comic book store and did you know that in 3 weeks absence i've got about 100$ worth of comics waiting for me. All i could say was "umm gimme 30$ worth". It's like my new crack. Heh, i said "new crack".

I have to be honest and say that usualy, when i touch myself i think of you, but this morning, baby it was all about Jeff and Freddy from the party, Earthquake you know you're always in my wet dreams baby! But fuck me i had a good time last night. I don't honestly remember how the fuck i got home but i'm glad i did. I slept until 5h30 today. There were like 40 people there last night and fuck was it hot in the appartment. It was so nice to see The Earthquake who came home from Poland yesterday but still came and partied with us with G. until 2am, you guys are fucking awesome!
Well i'm going back to bed....maybe some lasagna before i go back to bed.

pics will be posted soon.

Women, in general i think, look at our surroundings before we decided whether or not to sit on any given toilet. Today, at lunch, i failed to do so and paid the price. Since i work in a rather large building that must hold at least 5000 people, it's rare that you'll find yourself alone in the bathroom, but today i was. I sat down did my business and then realized that there was no toilet paper. "don't panic" i thought "someone has to come in soon". And they did. And so i asked whoever was in the stall next to me for some TP and they in turn told me that there was NO TOILET PAPER IN ALL THE STALLS! All ten of them, no TP. And then the woman next to me was gone. And no paper for Annie. As i sat there i thought, there has to be something i can use, SOMETHING!... looked in my pockets : 20$ bill, 5$ bill and a quarter. No kleenex no nothing. Couldn't use the 20$, cuz well it's 20$... i seriously considered the 5$ and then i figured, fuck it, I might as well try to waddle my ass over to the sanitary pad dispenser and use the quarter.

Although i didn't want to dwell too much on the 3some issue, for fear that this blog would become some sort of weird three's company tribute blog, i have to touch on that at least once more.

In the last day and a half since i published the "if you can't fuck your friends, who can you fuck?" post, i am astounded by the number of people who have since then come to me with 3some stories (thanks to my parking lot spliff buddy for sharing the his friend's story about getting dick slapped during said threesome), stupified by the number of requests for a copy of the infamous Annie self-Fuck tape (the earthquake from Peru made a special request from Poland, that on the day he gets back the tape should be IN the VCR, no fucking around.) And surprisingly enough, a very good offer for Lance and I, if ever we were looking to minize the 3some sausage fest, to which i promptly answered "hell yeah, that sounds like fun" for those wondering. I can hear it now... Is Annie a lesbian? after all she gets off on watching herself and watches quite a lot of porn. No, Annie is not a lesbian, but Annie can appreciate the female body just as much as any guy can. Under certain circumstances (cum stances...heh...damn i need to talk about something other then sex) i've caught myself saying "fuck she's hot" or "i wouldn't kick her out of bed" shit like that happens, so yes i would like to see what it's like to be with another girl, but i'm still not a lesbian, so i guess that makes me Bi-curious? And what the fuck does that mean anyway? I'm positive some guy can up with that term to be able to explain away that time in the locker room when he got caught staring at some dude's package... "I'M NOT GAY!....i'm just curious..."

Yesterday was my first official day in the new department. I had a total mental breakdown. The first one was while i was still at work while on the phone with a supervisor, and i cried like a little bitch. Then after work i went over to my best girlfriend's place, Genny B., and had another melt down over there, and this one in front of one of her friends, who i know, but not all that well. I have to keep reminding myself that no one's expecting me to perform right away, that everyone needs an adjustment period, but I really don't think i'll be able to do this job. The customers are rude and they're all from Toronto, ALL of them. You tell them it's your first day and instead of being understanding about it they take it as an opening, thinking that if they talk to my supervisor he'll be able to accomplish more then me, which isn't true at all. All that does is make me feel even shittier. And i had the bright fucking idea to take a schedule that finishes at 7h30 all week.... thank god i have friday off.

If you can't fuck your friends, then who can you fuck?

Power drinker: person with the ability to consume abnormally large amounts of alcohol in a predetermined amount of time.

Pot head: person that, after a prolonged period of time, has an abnormal tolerance for cannabis.

My picture should appear under both definitions in a dictionary near you.

I drank so much my liver is trying to secede from my body. Yesterday i thought I was shit-bleeding, but no, twas only after effects from clamato over consumption.

The drinking started on Friday night at Chubby Chaser's place, with a bottle of Rhum, spiced rhum that is. The drinking continued on over to Lance Goodthrust's place (for all the ladies wondering, it's a pseudonym) where the Rhum bottle was completely demolished. As I awoke i realized that it was almost noon, and i was still drunk. So i left Lance's place needing nap in the worst way cuz that motherfucker talks, no converses with himself in his sleep. As i got into my car i noticed that i had a message....

Chubby Chaser's message:

WHAT THE FUCK!? YOU FUCKERS CANT JUST LEAVE THE BOTTLE ALONE? WE WERE SUPPOSED TO CHILL, DRINK CEASARS AND GRILL STEAK GOD DAMN IT! WERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? FUCKING KIDS! HAD TO FINISH THE RHUM DIDN'T YOU? FUCK!

And so, day 2 of the 2005 drink-a-thon was underway.

Now, the next hours are kind of a blur...

I know underwear-Lance made an appearance in the backyard, and danced a little jig. I know he then attempted to enter into various depanneurs/grocery stores around my house, a la "Spicoli". I know there was a great debate as to who was the old Obi-Wan Kenobi in Star-wars, and i know Lance lost 5$ to Chubby Chaser on that one. I know i showed my blog to these 2 fuckers for the first time... and then the knowledge of the Annie self-fuck tape was sent out into the universe. I know i got suckered into letting them watch it... and now i know that it don't take much for your bestfriends to want to have a 3some, as long as you have a tape of yourself masturbating.

And now everyone wants to see the Annie Fuck-tape. Dudes and chicks at work, everyone. I'm a fucking star people. I'm gonna start my own amateur web porn web site. Annie'sfuckfriends.com or perhaps buttplugpals.org.

New members will be pre-screened and measured.

This morning I was driving on St-Patrick and an ambulance was coming towards me. A few seconds before passing me, it swerved slightly and jumped the curb. The paramedic driving started to laugh and had a look on his face like "Oups, my bad". At first i thought "fuck, whoever's in the back of that ambulance is having a real shit morning". But then it dawned on me, Fuck maybe they stole that ambulance, and how cool is that?!?! Man I'd love to drive an ambulance. On second thought, if I were to steal an emergency vehicle it would be a fire truck, that would be the shit. I'd drive around town wearing the hat and everything. I'd go see Chubby Chaser, who lives on the second floor, knock on his window and scare the crap out of him. I wonder how well guarded the fire station really is....

Jason Lee, NBC's savior

A while back i'd read somewhere that Jason Lee was going to get his own TV show. This was about a year ago and i hadn't seen or heard anything since. Until yesterday i'm watching some crap reality thing on TV ( it was so memorable that i don't remember what the fuck it was) and there it was. The commercial i'd been waiting for, and on NBC of all places!!! "My name is Earl" Is coming this fall! Man, just when i thought TV had turned into a reality shit-storm, the shit-calm has finally come. I fucking love this guy. I hope he's on TV forever. What is truly unbelievable to me is that he's going to be on NBC, home of Friends, Joey (gag me) and other brilliant shows such as I want to be a Hilton, Meet mister mom, The apprentice 2 and 3, the biggest loser and the list goes on.... and on.

Ok ok maybe i'm being a little hard on NBC. They currently have 2 shows on the air that i'll endure. Scrubs and Medium. And again "endure" may be a little harsh because iu truly enjoy watching these two shows and have bought season 1 of scrubs. But still the ratio between shit-tastic shows and shows that don't make me wanna stick hot pockers in my eyes, is not good. And on top of everything else, the good people at NBC have decided that sending Tommy Lee to school with your young adult is good TV goddamn it.

Today is my first day in my new department and i'm very nervous. I'm coming from a department where the customers buy air time cards and apply those themselves into their lines, and now i'm in the business department, which means i'll be handling accounts with multiple lines that belong to big businesses. The risk of fucking up has increased i'd say by about 150%. My first call ever lasted 31 minutes (they're supposed to last about 5 minutes each), thank god the gentlemen was understanding about the fucking long wait for the fairly simple question he had. We have a supervisor walking around to help us and she let us know that it's ok to tell the customer that you're new, that it's our first day.... i have a feeling that it's gonna be my first day for a fucking long time.

Chubby Chaser's brother has requested to hence forth be known as Olympic Sleeper.

Olympic Sleeper: So, how much chili powder did you put in the spaghetti sauce?

Chubby Chaser: I don't know... a punch i guess.

OS: A punch? you've been watching those Italian cooking shows? "yeah a punch of basil and give it a kick in the teeth with thyme."

Not much in life bothers me. Well... people who know me will say that that's the biggest line of bullshit ever written, but it's true everyday stuff that might upset people doesn't really bother me, i'm talking being cut-off by another driver or shit like that. One thing that does bug the shit out of me is Cyclists that don't use the bike path. Motherfuckers! I take St-patrick to go to work because it's nice and peaceful and right next to the water. I take this path to be able to relax on the way to work NOT to dodge dumbass people on their bikes. This morning i actually got out and counted how many steps from the street to the bike path, 13 steps. You know, that little street was built special for you fuckers.


On a brighter note, and for all the ladies out there...

Is it just me or are garbage men hot? I'm aware that they probably smell like shit until about shower #5, but still. Evertime i'm stuck behind a garbage truck i'm always surprised to see some hot guy shlepping the trash into the truck. All muscles, tattoos and sweat. I don't know, maybe it's just me, but fuck it's enough to make a girl wanna chill out at the dump.... well maybe not but you get my point.

fucking shit. I have no fucking patience for this fucking blog today, i just wrote this big fucking thing and went to spell check and it erased everything. fuck it, no post today.