Happy Halloween Y'all

Well halloween is here again, didn't we all miss the odor of fallen leaves and rotting pumpkins? i know i sure did. Ok, so maybe i'm a little bitter because i slept threw the one hour "fall back" this weekend and that's something i look forward to every year. I love halloween, it's great. Every year it gets harder and harder to deal with, but it's still great. What the hell is so hard to deal with? Eh.... i guess halloween isn't halloween unless i spend at least one entire night sewing like a crazy person trying to get my costume finished on time. I didn't do that this year so halloween just isn't halloween. I didnt wear a costume to work this morning. Yes, some people did wear one, i believe my ex-boss is dressed like a musketeer, i saw a princess in the bathroom and saw a giant pumpkin walk by before. I don't honestly know what's wrong with me. Halloween used to be the holiday for Annie... i'm just not in the mood. I took out my Dorothy costume on saturday and kinda looked at it.... no excitement, no nothing... the only thing i could think of is that i've never had sex in that outfit and it might be fun, you know with the ruby slippers and everything. But other then that thought, nothing, i put it away and that's that for another year. I'm not bummed out or anything, or at least i wasn't bummed out but this morning it kinda hit me shit today's halloween and i haven't done anything for it this year, it's been kinda like christmas without the tree know what i mean? Next year i'm gonna go all out, i think i'll be going as an Umpa Lumpa.

Well i do believe that today was the last great day of the year, weather wise i mean. It wasn't too cold, not too hot either, just right. So right in fact that i suggested that OS, Chubby Chaser and I take a walk. Those who know me well know that this doesn't happen often, Annie bought a car so that walking would no longer be required, except for indoors of course. But it was a great day and i wanted to take advantage of it. We went to the only park in Ville Emard, the one behind Loblaws and right behind the "STOP! Ville Emard sud-ouest" grafiti on Jacques-Hertel St. I'd never been there before, it's a really nice spot, sat on the bleachers and chilled out, talked about how far away OS is going to be (he's moving to Calgary on the 7th) and dished about CC's new girlfriend. It was a good day, it's weird that these seem to be numbered. I noticed it though, while we were sitting there, things are changing all over the place and there's no way to stop that shit, you just have to sit back and let it wash over you. For some reason all this change has been making think about my high school reunion next may, and it scares the shit out of me.

I heard on the radio this morning that George Takei aka Sulu on Star Trek the original series, has come out of the closet. That's one old gay trekker. Have nothing else to say about that.

Smallville not only bites, it sucks balls.

Loeb is no longer working on Smallville and the effects of this are beginning to be to much for me to handle. I enjoyed the Aquaman episode, overall i think the Flash was better but still, it had it's moments and i'm able to appreciate the Arthur character even if he does say "bro" way too much. But this crappy lost-buffy-episode was just sad. The only good thing in the entire episode would have to be the Lex scenes, and even then they were kinda shite ("Lex! what's project 1138!" and then he just tells him?!? what the hell?) One scene i did rather enjoy was when Chloe's trying to get them into the party and Clark is dressed like Zoro. "the cape is good, but i don't know about his mask, i can't see when i turn my head" yeah, Annie liked that.

I am so cuddle deprived it's getting ridiculous. Sure i miss sex, sex is good, sex is great, but lately it's not what i need. I need to snuggle god damn it. I woke up this morning in the ultimate fetal position. I had two pillows between my legs and holding on to another for dear life. It has become patheta-sad. It's now so bad that in my sleep i re-arrange my pillows to form Pseudo-man. That's his name. He actually has a name. Annie needs a cuddle partner, so if anyone is interested in the position please let me know, candidates will be screened for arm-pit smell, snoring, frequency of night-time urination and over all sleep demeanor.

Back story

I have an uncle, we'll call him Jacob, who's 50+ years old and still lives with my grand-mother. No, scratch that, he's always lived with my grand-mother, always. Never moved out, never had a job, never any girlfriends, no nothing. He was on welfare his entire life up until the day came where he'd finally done too much coke and the doctor's gave him a pacemaker. Now it's not called welfare, it's called disability.


Last night
I was looking for cookies when i overheard my father talking about someone bleeding.

Me: So who's bleeding?

Dad: Jacob.

Me: Where's he bleeding from?

Dad: Where do you think?

Me: ...his penis?

Now here's another incident where the fact that i'm psychic has popped up because at no time in my entire life has anything ever pointed to his dick getting used at all, except maybe giving himself the occasional stranger.

Dad: Yeah, and i don't see why i have to drag my ass all over the place because of his ... problem.

Me: You were totally gonna say Dick! heh heh. So what he's bleeding, he's probably passing a stone or something, tell him to take it like a man for christ sake. Or maybe he's got an STD, and in that case i hope he was thankful for the sex.

Now, it's after this next statement that i kinda felt bad for saying what i said above, not for my uncle, cuz fuck him he gets what he deserves, but for my grand-mother who actually had to witness the following events.

Dad: Yeah, well, she (my grandmother) called me before all scared and freaked out because apparently he's now bleeding all over the place from his penis and she doesn't know what to do. The paramedics just went to pick him up.

Poor gran, i wouldn't know what to do with a bleeding penis either.

Have you read J Gallagher today? you should.

excerp from J Gallagher's blog today :

i get crazy erections 'meaty at the base' is how i once referred to them to the priest.

I was sitting on my sofa, minding my own business, when all of a sudden it sounded as though the cats upstairs had started WW3. It was 10pm, so the parental units were already in bed watching tv, when i heard my father get up. WHAT THE FUCK !!! i heard from my basement apartment. BANG BANG BANG BANG COME BACK HERE! BANG BANG BANG. So that's the sound my father makes when futilely running around after 3 cats. then quiet..... bang bang bang bang bang (that's him walking down the stairs) ANNIE! ah crap, what the hell did i do now, christ i just got home!... "WHAT?" "Annie, come here a minute" So i get up and go into the laundry room (which separates them from me) and it's all dark and my dad says "don't turn on the light.. hold on a minute..." and there it was, in all it's great-green-lucas glory. My father, a 55 year old man, has purchased a 160$ light-saber. I'm the first to appreciate memorabilia of any kind, but jesus this thing is humongous .... and green, and it glows. It makes me want to go trick or treating again... i wonder if any adult out there would ever let any kid use that thing to go trick or treating, it is the ultimate accessory, but seeing as my father won't let me take it out of the house, i don't think we'll be seeing that many super sweet sabers out there on halloween.... unless i steal my dad's . sweet.

i swear i don't know how my finger got stuck in there.

If ever I had a need to prove that God either doesn't exist or that he/she has taken permanent leave from us, this proof ladies and gentlemen, is cosmic bowling. I have nothing against regular bowling, just the cosmic variety. Bowling like normal people can but fun, entertaining, just a general good wholesome time really. But once the lights go off and the blacklight goes on, the disco balls start turning and the Sean Paul music begins, basically it all goes to hell. This shit cost 42$ for 3 people to play 4 games. 42$ and we couldn't even see the marks on the lanes. For games of this pointless ball chucking and as i'm walking to return my rented shoes with the neon yellow laces, i realized shit man the other side of the alley isn't cosmic bowling, it's Kareoke bowling, shit...well at least we'll have something to do next weekend, yep.

Watch were you aim that thing!

Although i am aware that we do have a sweet transvestite frequenting our bathrooms, this is no explanation for the amount of pee that i constantly find in all the stalls in the bathroom. No one person could possibly be peing that much and unsuccessfully, even a pre-op transexual. It's just ridiculous. The logistics of how all this could be managed is mind boggling. At first i thought it's just splash back from when you flush, has to be, but i've worked here for 4 years now and everytime i flush i wait for it. I wait for the day that the flush is so powerful that it covers the seat with a shower of toilet water. It's never happened. Then i thought perhaps someone is so afraid of germs that they are hovering above the toilet and just hoping that the pee goes in, but to this i ask have we all forgotten about the use of toilet paper to cover said seat, in this situation? But again, this problem seems to be wide spread, i check all the stalls today and 8 out of 10 had some sort of liquid on the seat, that's just fucking weird.

Dork translation 101

for those of you who would like to know what Batman and Superman say to each other in issue#22 of Batman/Superman on pages 1 and 3.

Batman (left top): Are you ready to do this?
Sups (right top): I still think we should stay together.
Batman (left bottom): We need better intel. My way is more effective.

Sups: Go.



Sups (top left): One hour Bruce.
Batman (top left): Just do your job.
Sups (top right): One hour or I swear, i will tear this building down around them.

You and me, we're forever flower children.
Dancing with flowers in my hair,
I told you i wished it could be so.

In my heart,
me and you, we're on a beach somewhere
skin warm to the touch
just hot enough for ice to melt on our lips

we're happy,
and everything else falls away,
we're safe
and no one will ever bother us again.

I watched you sleep, and wished it could be so.

i am convinced that the world is coming to an end.

Why Annie? you all may ask and this is my reason why. Yesterday my dad says to me:

Dad : you see who was in the paper saturday?

Me : nope who?

Dad : Ralph P. (who happens to be my estranged uncle and estranged father to two of my cousins, oh and an alcoholic)

Me : Shit what the hell did he do? (thinking : robbery, arson, some shit like that)

Dad: Oh nothing, he's running for Mayor of Dorval.

me : WHAT? are you serious?

Dad: yep, his base of operations is in some bar, he called your aunt and said "i'm gonna be mayor, wanna get married again?"

People i couldn't make this shit up if someone paid me.


VOTE RALPH IN 2005 BITCHES!

How hard should you fight?

My mom says life will have a way of working itself out that in the end maybe life holds a surprise for me. That i'm living threw a hard time right now, that all my friends are going away and that's why i'm so sad. He's got a new girlfriend and a new cocky attitude and that's why i'm sad. All of a sudden i'm not allowed over there, people might get in trouble if he were to find out. Bad jokes and the over all demeanor has gone to shit. I thought he'd be my friend for the long haul, there until the end for each other, like bestfriends are supposed to be. I told my mom that sex changes everything, or the promise of sex anyway, and two weeks into this the we mentality has already begun and just like that he's gone. I lose. Game over. Should i fight? Should i just keep my mouth shut and leave things at that. Just fond memories of a person that i thought was a kindred soul. Step aside and make way for the new and improved model because last year's is old and busted, a green 98 neon that's no longer road worthy. that's me.

Annie's thoughts on Smallville

If this is going wher i think it's going, it's going to have the potential of being the single best thing on TV ever. EVER.

I always thought that the fact that Jor-El's voice is actually Terence Stamp, the actor who played Zod in the Donner movies, a bit too big of a coincidence. And now i can feel it in my gut that my original feelings were correct. That is not Jor-El people, that is Zod! KNEEL!!!!

Let's recap shall we?

. So far they've made Jor-El out to be a world conquering asshole who's determined to turn Clark into some kind of galactic warrior.

. All the tests all the ultimatums, not very fatherly is it? i think not.

. So let's say that Brainiac and Zod are working together. They decide to send 2 shmucks down to earth , in Brainiac's ship, just to check things out. This explains the "Kryptonian" symbol on B's ship.

. So Zod is in charge, and now he's in control of Lionel's body, which is genius because now Zod can mold Lex into the true Super villain he should be.

. All this has to lead to the ultimate confrontation between Clark/Zod/Lex.

Oh man i'm totally psychic.

Tuesday morning i woke up feeling pretty sick. So i called into work, let them know i wouldn't be in and went to the doctor's office to get myself a note. The wait to see him was gonna be 2 hours, and since i don't live far from there, i drove home and back to bed to do the waiting there. As i was lying there, various thoughts popped into my head, like "that chinese food was really good the other day" "Did i remember to fax that stop payment, that has to be done by the 15th" "I have to find out what time Laticia is leaving for France" And in the middle of all these sporadic thoughts this one popped up "Chubby chaser (who has been my Ex for 2 and a half years now but my friend for like 10) is going to start taking things that are mine, or remind him of me, down. The pictures on the fridge of me,they won't be there very much longer". And that thought made me sad at first, but i had 2 hours to burn so i laid there and thought about how that made me feel.

On one hand, i'm happy for CC. I want him to be happy and i want him to get laid like any good friend would want. So if this is the chick it's gonna happen with, i hope she's nice, i hope she understands his dry ass sense of humor and i hope that she makes him happy.

On the other hand, I guess i was a little sad because change scares me. I know, i know, it's like that for everyone, but CC is my best friend, we talk everyday, sure it's usually bullshit, but we talk and it's nice. He's my buddy, we count on each other and that's always good. He needs money? i'm there. I need money, he's there for me. We're really good friends and i'm afraid that a new woman in the mix is gonna change this drastically. No more chillin on friday nights, no more all nighter's at Lance's place, that shit is gonna end and that's what makes me sad.

So anyway, back to my original thought. So i'm feeling kinda shitty and i'm thinking about all this, but i try to get over myself and go shopping with Gen and Laticia and walked way more then i usually walk. From HMV on ste-Catherine to Shwartz's, which some might not find that far, but fuck you i think it's far enough. So all monday and tuesday i don't call CC, just to kinda get myself adjusted to the times to come. Yesterday i decided to give OS a call, to see if he wanted to watch a movie together, which he did. So i go over there and we put in Leaving Las Vegas which i just picked up for 10$ along with Sid and Nancy, another great buy for 10$. So if i wasn't depressed before, i was then. Don't get me wrong, i love that movie, i thinks it's very well made and acted, it just makes me sad. We finish the movie and OS takes off for his parents place.

I'm sitting there on CC's futon, smoking a joint, listening to Cat Steven's <em>the wind and i turn my head to the right and there it is. Or rather there it isn't. The pictures of me on the fridge are gone. I AM PSYCHIC PEOPLE!!! I swear to god on this i'm not fucking around. So then i start thinking "ok....he met her like a week ago, maybe two...and she's been here.... and he hasn't told me about it....is that what kind of friendship we're gonna have, and if so that sucks ass". The song ends and CC comes in (i could not have timed it better had i been making a movie)and we exchange pleasantries "how are you, what's new" all that jazz and he doesn't tell me. So now i'm thinking fuck this, i spent 10 years of my life with this guy and now he's not gonna bother telling what's really going on in his life So i say "Dude, you'll never guess, i'm fucking psychic" " what?" "yeah man i'm telling you i'm psychic, the other day i had a feeling that you'd take down the pictures of me on the fridge and low and behold i am psychic" He then went on to tell me about what had been going on, i told him if he didn't want to tell me that that was fine, but that i'd still like to be in his life and talk about stuff like this. And everything is cool now, seems i was worried for nothing. Things are going to change, but he made it clear that i'm still his friend and he's still mine. Besides, this girl doesn't know who Floyd is, doesn't know Slayer or Maiden or anything else that CC likes, i'm gonna have to help this girl if she's gonna want to stick around.

It was so cold in my room this morning my dream about sweat pants woke me up.

Last Wednesday was weird. Good but definitely one that's out of the usual for me anyway. I got off work at noon and headed on over to Genny's place, picked up Olympic Sleeper on the way. On the day's Itinerary? The St-Joseph Oratory. A bagel shop. The Russian's car wash. Canadian Tire. Not in that specific Order.

So Good God Damn the Oratory has lot's of stairs. It was interesting, pretty much what i remembered. However this was the first time i'd visited while stoned. Not to worry all Christians out there, we smoked in the parking lot and not directly on the grounds, for fear of going to hell. Although we're probably still going to hell, since at the end of the path of the cross there's this big sacrificial lamb fountain, and Olympic sleeper and I decided to play fountain, it's only after a few minutes of giggling that we realized "we're spitting in the sacrificial lamb fountain, shit, we're going to hell."

All in all, i'd say it was a pretty good day, i had a great time and i hope Genny's friend from France takes good memories from Canada with her. I know she's taking home a hunter's plad shirt and some frozen bagels.

is it just me or does this look like the person who designed for Jospeh and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat designed this?

this is O.S, Genny and her friend from France and me.

i think this is very disappointing, i was expecting the shit to come from some sort of mystical vat.

Do i have the word "sucker" stamped on my forehead?

These days you can't live 5 minutes without encountering someone's birthday/anniversary/mothers day/halloween/christmas. It's constant. Neverending and no matter how much i try to be anti-social and not subject myself to everyone's every need, sometimes you can't get away from it. Couple days ago crazy cousin text messaged me to let me know the twins were celebrating birthday 4 at Macdonalds. She hasn't talked to me since that weird text message to get my address, so this is obviously a "we want your money/gift invite" and i've had just about enough of that shit in my life. People shouldn't expect shit from anyone, provide for you and yours and everybody else can fuck off that's what i think. Even though i'm really trying to rid myself of people like this, sometimes you just can't. Case in point : lucinda, the step-mother's only niece. Goddamn it to hell i'm so annoyed by this i can hardly contain myself. This woman has never smiled in my direction. She always looks unhappy and, to my knowledge, has never really ever said anything pleasant to anyone. And now she's pregnant. And i say to this : "WHO GIVES A RATS ASS? not me that's for sure". I don't talk to her when she comes over to see my step-mom, i don't talk to her at xmas diner,or Easter or any other function at which we might be sitting across table from each other. This woman has the nerve to give my step mother an invitation to her baby shower, 25$ for attendance and then she audacity to hand me a list of shit she wants as gifts. When i have kids does anybody honestly think that i'll be inviting people on the basis of how many gifts i'll be able to wrangle out of them? no, of course not, cuz i'm not an asshole.

I just got lost in thought, it was unfamiliar territory.

It has come to my attention that I must buy some movies with Robert Downey jr. I really enjoy him. Sometimes I think that actors/singers with drug and/or alcohol problems are the best ones out there, not that i'm suggesting heroin/vodka use to further one's career, but that one who already is a genius in his/her field but rather has the addiction to deal with the greatness. But what the hell do I know right? Right.

But still, there's something about Downey jr. that i enjoy. Maybe it's because he seems to have good chemistry with most of his onscreen ladies (i am excluding all Ally McBeal material from this blog and my memory). Also i have to say that it's rare that i can sit here and automatically come up with 3 movies i consider to be good, who all have the same actor in it... 1. Natural Born Killers, 2. Chaplin, 3. Only you (on the list because it was on tv yesterday and because Marisa Tomei was really hot in this movie, what with the short hair).

Why am i talking about Robert Downey jr.? I don't know so click here.

That's right Bitches, i'm back.

So Annie's been out of commission for the last two weeks or so due to the fact that i hurt my back a couple of weeks ago and i have a doctor who either loves me or felt sorry for me, so he gave me 2 weeks off and lot's of pills. Groovy. I must say that it does feel good being back at work, i have a sense of purpose now, not a very strong one mind you, but purpose none the less.

Lot's of stuff happened in the last couple weeks, most of which i can't really remember but i'm pretty sure most of it did happen. One thing i do remember was going to the airport with Genny B to pick up a friend of hers who was flying in from France.

The Airport is a wild and crazy place. I noticed a few things while waiting and here they are :

1. The arrivals gate at the airport should be re-named "the who loves you parade". They have this roped off ilse that's right in the middle of all the people holding signs, people waiting with flowers, people waiting with dogs, people waiting is what i'm getting at here. When the wait-er finally spots the wait-ee, arms go flying, squeals of joy can be heard and dogs are let of their leashes to room freely in the airport. It's wonderful, you can actually see the joy radiating from these people. But then of course, there's always one or two poor schmucks on the plane who aren't going to be picked up at the airport. The look of shame/disappointment on these people is something you rarely see.

2. The price of food in airports is INSANE! Do they know how much food costs in the rest of the country? Do they not understand that people on lay-overs are going to think that this is the norm in Canada. 3.50$ for a 500ml of Chocolate milk. insanity.

3. Unfortunately my general fear level has been affected by stupid american propaganda. It used to be that whatever was different in the world would intrigue me, draw me in to get a better look. My trip to the airport made me realize just how much the american news channels and all that crap really has affected me. As i was standing with Genny waiting, i turned and saw a man, his wife and their son. The woman was in full Muslim dress, i'm talking head to toe, veil over the face, the whole thing, in black. So basically wherever she went my eyes automatically followed because you just couldn't miss her. It's not something i'm used to seeing, i mean it wasn't that i was honestly scared of them but it did make me think Terrorists?, not something that i'm proud of at all, stupid americans and their fear levels.

4. i saw a woman in a full length dalmation fur coat AND DALMATION FUR PANTS. PANTS. that's right i said PANTS. Then she turned around and i could see that to top it all off, i suppose to add a touch of class, a Van Halen world tour tshirt, i shit you not.