Are you a Dark Tower Junkie?

Back in '98 i believe it was, Quebec was hit with it's first ice storm. No electricity, no heat, no nothing. Except Burger King, they were open. During those cold two weeks the only thing anyone could pretty much do was cuddle up next the closest available warm body and read. Chubby Chaser took this opportunity to let me know i should really read the Gunslinger by Stephen King. It wasn't a long one so i figured i'd give it a shot. To be honest, i've never been a huge fan of that first book, but i do admit that it did get me hooked onto the series, and i am a huge fan today of the entire run of books, all 7 of them (The gunslinger, The drawing of the three, the wastelands, Wizard and Glass, Wolves of the Calla, Song of Suzanna and The Dark tower). Earlier today i was looking around different sites i occasionally frequent and came across something that totally made my day. Starting in April 2006, Marvel is putting out a Dark tower comic!!! holy crap i'm freakin' psyched!!!! click here to view a preview of the artwork.

Tom Cruise is a dick

Chubby Chaser and I watched War of the Worlds last night. I tried to stay objective and not let my hate of Tom Cruise blind me and I really tried to give it a shot. It was very difficult. CC wasn't impressed either and was convinced that Spielberg basically made a movie about Tripods. And since they repeatedly call the aliens "tripods", i suppose he's right. I hate Tom Cruise. I haven't liked him in any of his movies. The only one i'd even consider buying would be Far and Away, and that's not because of him it's all because of Nicole Kidman and that scene when they break into a house and pretend they love each other, so hot. Other then that, Tom Cruise is a cocknocker. Who the hell leaves Nicole Kidman to marry Dawson's girlfriend? COME ON! Plus he reminds me way too much of a old friend, Habby. I turned to CC at one point and said "if he squats any time soon we have to turn it off" "I know, it's like watching Habby with kids... and aliens."

I'm totally pissed.

dude, you told me that you'd write to me every week, you promised that shit. And so, you leave me no choice, no more pseudonyms. Trevor goddamn it, you said you'd write.

A customer called this morning and asked if i could help him program his new cellular phone he received this morning. Most phones that are sent out like that are already programmed, but it never hurts to check.

"Sir, please go in the menu of your cell phone"

"ok"

"Now press 7 to access the setup"

"the number 7?"

No asshole, the slightly less popular letter 7.

My father thinks i'm 8.

I woke up this morning pretty early (9ish) and realized that everyone upstairs were already out and about. I gave my dad a call to see where he was at and when they'd be coming home. He tells me they're out shopping and that they'd just dropped off some gifts and had to go into town to get more. He then proceeded to warn me that i'm not allowed in their bedroom, and that i shouldn't go snooping upstairs. I am 26 years old people. If he wants to keep me out, he's gonna have to get goddamn pad lock. Besides, i checked all those bags and i saw nothing, nothing that was on my list.

Police officers like pogos too.

Got to leave work early on Wednesday and i went to chill out with Genny. Around 2h30 the munchies kicked in and I decided that the only thing that would make me happy would be a hot dog from Lafleur's. And so, i drove myself down the street to the Lafleur's all squinty eyed and smellin' like weed. As i stood there waiting to be asked my order, i realized i was having a rather happy moment. You know when you catch yourself doing and being exactly where you want to be. I don't know, maybe it was the pot, but man standing there made me feel like i was in control. It was a Wednesday afternoon and i'm in control of my life because i am waiting to buy a hot dog and there's no place where i rather be. And then, as i turned to look at the person standing in line next to me, I lost that wonderful feeling and it was replaced with the sneaking suspicion that i stink like marijuana. Or at least that's what i thought the cop standing next to me was thinking. Just then i thought ah man, that just fucked up the vibe i had going, then i thought shit i hope he doesn't follow me outside to see me get in my car, but then he ordered 2 pogos and i thought pogos are good.... maybe i should get some pogos....

Do you have tickets to see U2? If so, you're a lucky bastard.

Well, the highly anticipated concert event of the year is finally upon us. The radio stations have been getting ready for this one since June and this morning the final pair of tickets were given away, and not to me. One day, the music Gods will smile down on me and send tickets to see U2. And before i die those same music Gods will find a way for me to witness the awesomeness of Pink Floyd live. Then i'll be a happy camper. But until then, if you have an extra ticket and you want concert night to have a happy ending, let Annie know.

Another day, another flat tire.

Can you believe this bullshit? I know i can't. That's two flat tires in about a month. Not the same tire. Shit shit shit, i'm so freaking annoyed right now i could smack someone. I should be smacking myself for ever agreeing to purchase the shit-mobile. Goddamn it i'm retarded. I can't fucking stand myself and my retardedness right now. How could I have allowed myself to get stuck in a 5 year commitment for that crap ass piece of shit i call a vehical. shit shit shit. Yes folks that's 260$ a month for the last FIVE YEARS. Plus 2000$ last year for necessary repairs. Plus at least 600$ in tires. I can't believe this shit. That's roughly 18,200.00$ for a 1998 Dodge Neon. I googled that shit and today that car is worth maybe 3000.00$, maybe.

God is a dude and he's such a jerk.

When you're with someone, getting your period is like receiving proof of insurance. Once a month you look down and think "well, that's one crisis averted" and then you feel like shit for about 5-6 days. And i'll admit that when i was in a long term relationship, getting the monthly visitor was a relief, something to look foward to even, in a weird "i hope i'm not pregnant" kinda way. Getting it while you're not seeing anyone and not having any sex, is a whole other sack of marbles. It fucking sucks ass. And as an added bonus this month i'm 2 entire weeks early. So on top of things sucking ass, i got caught with my pants down... well they weren't down, but god damn it does God not understand that blood stains and that it's very very hard to get out. Which brings me to this thought : God, is actually the head of the panty corporations of the world. He takes us by surprise like that to increase sales of said underwear. I have been reading Behold a Pale Horse, and now everything is a conspiracy. Damn you Freemasons! I know you control the Pope AND the underwear industry, EVERYTHING IS CONNECTED!!!

I dreamt i was fired, so i took the day off.

Sunday night was perhaps the worst night sleep i've ever had in my life. I figured i was tired enough and decided to not use the sleeping aid i usually take Sunday nights. Around 2am i woke up from a nightmare. I've mentioned this before, Annie doesn't really dream anymore. Chubby Chaser says that's dangerous and that one day my subconscious is gonna loose it because i haven't really been dreaming these last few years. I guess he was right.

So in my dream i'm at home, in the bachelor and my grand-father is there. This is awesome, my dream self thinks, i haven't dreamt of Grand-papa in a long time, and at first i was happy. I used to dream about him once in a while, mostly in nightmares though. I had this recurring one where we were in the scene in Indiane Jones where he has to swing over the pit on the vine "give me the rope!" "give me the idol and i'll give you the rope", anyway, in the dream, i'd always have to leave grand-papa behind at his request, and i'd wake up crying. Sunday night's dream wasn't an Indie knock off for once. He was there, i don't remember him saying anything, but i remember knowing that i was late for work and that if i got there late i'd be fired. Then all of a sudden i'm at work and my boss isn't my actual boss, but a girl i used to be good friends with, we'll call her Ulie. And she's all "you know Annie, i really don't want to do this, but you leave me no choice" and i woke up crying, not sobing, but more like "shit, i got fired, oh no wait that was a dream, i don't wanna go to work, fuck it, day off for Annie"

Finally, after all these years, the wait is almost over.

I cried a little. Marlon Brando gave me goosebumps. I don't care what anyone thinks of this movie. I'm just happy that someone out in Hollywood has the balls to undertake a film about a great icon, one who's been largely look over in the last 20 years. Let everyone think i'm crazy, but the world needs heros today.

www.clerks2.com

Ok everyone, this is a must see. I love him so much it's fucking crazy. I cannot wait for this to come out.

Crap i hope no one saw that.

You know how some people will trip over what seems to be air and then try to kinda recover as if nothing happened(I think Jerry Seinfeld had a bit about that once). Well tonight i tried a puke/recover maneuver that i hope never to have to try again. I decided i'd had enough of work around 4h30, i wasn't feeling very well and i was all congested. We have this policy at work where twice a year you can ask to leave after 3/4 of your shift no questions asked, so i took the 1h30 early leave from work. I went down to the cafeteria to say goodnight to Genny, and as we approached the escalator, the need to vomit was overwhelming. I said "ok honey, i'll see ya later" and she said "the bathrooms are on this floor are out of order, you look like you're gonna need one". I didn't even reply, i was out the door and practically running for my car. I made it to the grassy part of the parking lot, threw up a little and kept on walking. I stopped at the bench they have for us and took a breath and realized two guys were walking i'd say twenty feet behind me, needless to say they had to take a detour to avoid my puddle. Wonderful start to the weekend no?

I watched Man on fire the other day for the first time. It was good, nothing extra-special, but good. What got me thinking was when the little girl gives Denzel the charm for the Patron Saint of Lost causes. I thought that was kinda weird that there would be a Patron Saint dedicated to lost causes and wondered what other weird things Catholics have assigned Saints too.

Amalburga is the Patron Saint of Arm Pain.
Magnus of Fussen is the Patron Saint against caterpillars.
Barbara is the Patron Saint of warehouses and is also against death by artillery.
Drogo (my favorite) is the Patron Saint of dumb and unattractive people.
Zita is the Patron Saint of lost keys.
Bartholomew the Apostle is the Patron Saint to all Twitchers.
Expeditus is the Patron Saint against procrastination
Columbanus is the Patron Saint for bikers.
Anne is Canada's Patron Saint.
Eugene de Mazenod is Patron Saint to dysfunctional families.

Crazy Catholics.

TEASER TRAILER TOMORROW NIGHT PEOPLE!!!

Although i like to consider myself a crazy Superman fan, i'm only 26 and have never had the pleasure of being in attendance for any opening night of the Superman movies. I've been counting the days until Superman Returns like a kid waiting for christmas (225 days, 11 hours and about 50 minutes). They (the tv powers that be) have announced that sometime during tomorrow's episode of Smallville, the new Superman Returns teaser trailer will be aired. I cannot contain myself at this point.

That's tomorrow night 8pm on the WB.

On a related topic, has anyone been watching The Office, tuesday nights, 9h30, on NBC right after My name is Earl. I don't know who's dick the people at NBC had to suck to be able to have 2 awesome shows on their network. I really think they're the best shows on TV right now. Last night Dwight was getting psyched to ask Micheal for a raise, he ends up quoting Lex Luthor and Micheal says "that's from Superman?" "Nope, Smallville" i laughed so hard i peed a little.

Saturday night, i would have given my right ovary for a teleporter.

Where to begin....I guess "the hash was good" is as good a place as any.

About 5 years ago i got a job in a small chemical company as the administrative assistant to the big boss. It was an ok job, you know not bad or good really, just a pay cheque. Chubby Chaser later went on to work in the plant of said company. This, ladies and gentlemen, brings me to Dave. Dave is plant manager, he's 38, he's got 2 teenage girls and a wife. And he's got great hash.

This is the kind of boss who'll understand that you can't come in cuz you're hung over, because he was at the bar with you getting hammered. The kind of boss that will send you home if you come in smelling like the whiskey trench. The kind of boss that will stretch out lunch break to 1h45 because goddamn it we've got a game of cards to play. Also the kind of boss who'll hand over all the drink coupons i can carry at each christmas office party. Those are the reasons i like Dave. Unfortunately there are reasons why i don't. And i'm not talking about the time his wife sent his mother to pick him up stinking drunk in our kitchen.

Friday night CC invited me over to watch Smallville, he mentioned that the guys from work would be there for a bit, but that's cool i figured we'd play cards. I get over there around 10ish and they were all pissed except for CC, who was tipsy but not wrecked.

I swear to god you've never seen two drunks like this before. Just spewing complete nonsense, drooling and god knows what was on CC bathroom floor the next morning. It's just insane to me. I mean generally it's good fun. Play some pool, play some cards, go home before anybody shits themselves. We've even gone on labor day weekend benders together where we didn't go home before someone shat themselves, but that story is for another day. But this weekend, not cool.

Around midnight, Dave starts to get that glazed over look in his eye, you know the one that says "i'm either gonna hug you or knock you're fucking teeth in". I must remind him of his wife cuz it's around that time that he looks at me and mumbles something to the effect that he should call his wife to let her know where he is. To which i reply "she doesn't know where you are?" "no" "doesn't she pick your ass up after work?" "i sent her away" "And you didn't let her know where you were going?" " i...i... umm.... crap.... i better call her" So he gives her a call, at midnight. Needless to say he was not warmly received over the telephone.

As a side story, i'd like to let you all into one of my personal little quirks. When Annie gets nervous or when she's in a public place, or when there are too many people around, my hands itch. I know, it sounds retarded, but it's true. If i don't get the fuck out of wherever the stress is coming from, after the itchy hands
comes the swollen hands, and that's just no fun.

So after Dave's wife hung up on him, he looks at CC, his employee, and says "dude, is it ok if i crash here?" And CC reluctantly says yes. My hands start to itch. Mickey, the one prone to shitting himself, then looks at me, well tries to look at me anyway, and asks for a lift home. But not before calling Norm. Norm is Mickey's canal friend. They chill together at the Lachine canal and drink together there. So Mickey calls up Norm and says "can i freak you out right now?" (it's 12h30) "i'm over at CC's place, i'm drunk, i'm broke, i need a lift and 40$" .... and then apparently Norm hung up on him.

So i ended up having to drive their asses home.

At least i kept most of Dave's hash.

hey radio guy

Sorry man, no pics today. The clown/donkey combo was overbooked and i really had my heart set on them, so we re-scheduled.

Attention all Bloggers!

Do you live in the Montreal area? Do you like to have a good time? Do you read this blog? Is your name Ted? If so, this is the contest for you!

Since the counter at the bottom of the screen is already coming up on the 1000 mark, i've decided to hold a little contest in honor of my millennium celebration. So, if you're lucky visitor number 1000, please leave me a comment and i'll get in touch with you.

I'm not sure what we'll do just yet, but i'm fairly sure it will involve paprika, a goat and coppertone SPF 30. Let the good times begin. Snootch.

The Devil's Rejects : a movie review by Annie

Although when i first saw House of a thousand corpses i wasn't all that impressed, i really liked this kooky sequel. It seems Rob Zombie has a knack to tell stories about these characters that I love to hate. I found myself hoping that they'd get away to be able to kill another day. I'm sorry, but Sherry Moon Zombie can't really act but christ is she hot. Works out for her i think. One other thing that really surprised me is the fact that this flick comes with bloopers on the dvd! Yes, bloopers. Complete with dead folk singers singing and a whole bunch of other special features that are really worth the rental or purchase.

Annie gives it 2 thumbs up.

I'm so broke i'm losing my mind. Who said that?

This month is going to be the death of me. If I make it to December with my sanity, i'll devote my life to God, i'll stop swearing and i'll quit smoking. Well, at least i'll stop lying.

No, but seriously folks, Annie is a broke ass bitch right now. I'm real close to getting myself a pimp and start turning trixs and shit. 250$, me and you we'll have a great time, i guaranty it. Ok, so i might be exaggerating and in reality i'm no where close to whoring myself out. However becoming a pimp, or Madame (classy and shit no?) is still within my realm of possibilities.

I shouldn't even be complaining about my brokeness. It's my own stupid fault anyway. Every so often i get, what at the time, seems like a goddamn stroke of genius. This month i decided to pay double my car payment because i figured if i do this the shit mobile will be paid off one month faster. Seemed at the time like the right thing to do. However, now that i'm worried about the fact that I might not have enough gas to get my ass too and from work until next friday, not this friday, next friday, I am seriously re-thinking my stroke of genius and am going to consider it just a stroke.

It's so bad right now that my anxiety about money is affecting my dreams. I'd say 75% responsible for messing with my dreams. First off, i'm dreaming. That doesn't happen a lot anymore because I smoke too much , but no money no smoking. Now that I am dreaming it's seems to always be in point form or picture form. I'll dream about things or places but there never seems to be any movement. Last night I dreamt there was 15$, a five dollar bill and a 10$, on my dresser. That's it. That was the dream. Me, standing next to my dresser, looking down, and there's 15$, then i woke up and realized that my dreams suck ass. I couldn't dream about being a millionaire or billionaire, no, apparently even my subconscious is fucking broke. GOD DAMN YOU SUBCONSCIOUS!!! My life has to suck while i'm awake and while i'm sleeping.

Suffice it to say that Annie will be celebrating Christmas in January this year.

Farewell Lanky and Unprepared

I was asked to give OS a lift to the bus station yesterday. Had to be downtown for 9pm for him to catch the greyhound headed towards our country's great plains. I got to Chubby Chaser's place early so that we could have our last meal together. I don't know if CC's plan was to sabotage OS's trip, but soft shell taco's before a 3 day bus ride probably wasn't our best idea.

We'd decided it would be best to get going around 7h15ish, since we had to pick up OS's new Calgary roomy before going downtown. We step outside and it seems God may have been against us. Torrential rains and thunderous lightning as we stepped outside. Get down to the car, OS forgot his groceries for the trip. Back upstairs. Halfway down again, forgot to pack the tarot cards. Back upstairs. Finally off to pick up Lanky. Why Lanky? Cuz that motherfucker is all limbs. A couple streets away from the apartment building OS realizes that he doesn't have the paper with the address. So he gets out of the car and starts to yell for Lanky. "LANKY!! LANKY!!" No response. Checked 1,2,3 buildings, nothing. Get back in the car, soaking wet and head back to CC's place to get the address. Halfway back OS remembers the phone number and gives Lanky a call, who says "i buzzed you up and you didn't come up??" Back to Lanky's. Unprepared starts to freak out "I'm gonna be sick. I've got an hour to get to my bus and i'm driving across country in an hour and I can't find this guy".

Now i'm double parked and CC and I watch as apparently Lanky's entire family has come outside to bid him farewell. We were told he'd have 2 bags, of course there were 4, but that's the trouble with Tribbles isn't it? Stick the bags in my trunk. Busted speaker. Everybody crams in the car and suddenly a 4 year old screams "DADDY! you have our house keys!" Lanky gets back out of the car, then back in. And we were off.

Got on the highway, took the wrong exit and ended up going around the technopark. I've lived in Montreal my entire life.

Finally we arrived at the bus station and they took everything inside. I had a minute alone with OS to say my goodbyes. He kissed my forehead and told me everything was cool, to smoke a joint for him.

In retrospect, i think maybe i should have laid one on him. You know, a little goodbye tongue or some shit. Just a little something something to remember me by. I don't know. It was the first time i've ever had to say goodbye without really knowing if i'd see that person again. At the time all i could manage was a hug.

I didn't cry. I wanted to, but that would have made me such a chick. I waited until my drive home. I'm not saying i balled my eyes out, but i cried a little, afterall i'm gonna miss that buttmunch. No one else will roll around on the floor with me.

i found this on someone else's blog. It's so hypnotic i had to put a link for my peeps. Click on Georgie and drag if he gets stuck. click here peeps.

I was so messed up Friday night i shouldn't have been driving at all. But Lance doesn't live far so i figured i'd sober up on the way.

As we get in the car Lance let's me know that my car smells like fart. That's great, but i couldn't smell anything but the weed.

We get to his place and usually i'll get an invite up, which is good cuz then i get to sleep it off, but not tonight. So i'm sitting in my car thinking "i cannot drive across the

Mercier

Bridge like this", so i sat there and tried to figure out what to do. I called Chubby Chaser and asked if i could come back to chill out for a while. I started driving back to ville Emard from Verdun, and i got lost. Yes, i know it's a 5 minute drive, but i got lost. Then i spotted Hadley st. and knew i wasn't far. I picked up 6 hot dogs and some fries and at them on CC's bedroom floor.

The next morning i woke up in CC's bed to him giggling. "you think this would be considered cheating on my girlfriend?" "We didn't do anything, why would it?" "uh...i'm cupping your breast" "You are? shit. Dude stop touching my boob!"

Feels like i got a backdoor delivery i wasn't expecting.

I had some time on my hands yesterday, after i'd dropped off Gen at work and picked up the mega box of broken cookies (thank you Genny for actually knowing where said box of cookies can be purchased, only she knows things like that and i love her for it) so i headed on over to see OS and get as much of him as i possibly can before his departure this sunday. We played cards, did some yoga, chilled on the floor and watched the precipitation out the back door. I'd never done yoga with just one other person before. I've taken classes in which i've stayed at the back, just so the people in the class wouldn't get the newbie ass shot. But this was fun and made me a little sad that i'd waited so long before suggesting doing this. I worked sex muscles that haven't been worked in a long long time. We did what i believe is called the cradle position, which is basically lying on your stomach and holding onto your ankles, and oh my god...well that's pretty much the only thing i could say at the time "oh my god i haven't had to hold my legs back like this in forever". Felt good.